Driving home from church today, I thought about a portion of the song, “God Bless the U.S.A.” by Lee Greenwood.  I actually began to sing: “I’m proud to be an American where at least I know I’m free. And I won’t forget the men who died, who gave that right to me and I gladly stand up next to you and defend her  still today. ‘Cause there ain’t no doubt I love this land. God bless the  U.S.A.” I then began to think about those words and questioned whether or not  they in fact are true.  As a teen,
I heard this song and sang it sincerely without reservation. I even got chills.  As an adult, I sing the song and really consider the words and ask myself: "Am I proud to be an American?"

Ummm, most days I am proud and grateful to be an American, who lives in this country.  However, other days I am not because if being an American is synonymous with a person who is kind, respectful, and unbiased, then being an American is
not in fact something I can wholeheartedly be proud of.  So many of us are the opposite of the previously stated adjectives. Many of us think an American looks a certain way, lives a certain way, and acts a certain way. And because we feel that way we treat others poorly. But if I am saying I am proud to be an American, who is a black woman standing on the shoulders of those who came before me and endured unspeakable atrocities and hardships, then, “Yes! I am proud to be an American.” I am proud to be the American that my ancestors who lived as slaves after being brought to this country were not permitted to be. I am proud to be an American for the servicemen and women of color, who years ago when they returned from war were
met with disrespect and on some occasions death. I am proud to be an American because I believe that I was blessed to be born in a country during a time when I could at least have a shot at experiencing the American Dream encompassed by
the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. I am proud to be an American because my Uncle, my Mother, my father, my step father, my Godfather, and many of my mentors and dear friends have served this country. I was going to
serve until I realized that based on the branch that was recruiting me I was to go to Basic training rather than to college right after high school—a deal breaker. So I found other ways to serve by sending care packages to troops
overseas in the war and by sending cards of encouragement to Marine recruits.

One can say that I wrestle with fully being able to say that I am proud to be an American because I think about all of the things that happen day-to-day within our borders that do not support equality and justice for all. If all means all then why do not all Americans experience the ‘liberty and justice for all’? Do I say the pledge daily? Yes, I say it daily to show  appreciation, to show respect, and to set example for my students, who barely  utter the words.

It may seem like I am not grateful to be an American, but the truth of the matter is, I am grateful. I am grateful that I live in a country during a time when I can go wherever I want to go and if at some point  I am violated I can take legal action, something my great, great, great  grandmother was not able to do. I am grateful that I can take advantage of the educational and career opportunities that were denied to my ancestors and even  to women in other parts of the world. I am grateful that I can live where I  choose to live, shop where I choose to shop, and be who I want to be. Yes, I am  grateful.  I am even grateful that I have the right to respectfully share my thoughts, more specifically this post that reveals the inward battle/ongoing conversation that I have with myself, as a woman in America. I am proud to be an American, who respects the people of the world that live outside and beyond her borders.

Is it fair for me to say that I support the men and women who serve our country whether as the President, an advisor, a congressmen, a service member and so on without having to digest that this country sometimes operates based on personal agendas and not universal ones? Internally, I feel like I am countering my morals and values if I say that I am proud to be an American  without clarifying what that means to me.

If supporting each other as fellow Americans was truly embedded in our history and day-to-day actions, then we would not need reminders to reveal the importance of unity. Honestly, if it was not for my faith, I would be discouraged more often than not by the state of our country and the world.

I am proud to be an American, who is thankful for physical freedom and spiritual freedom. I am proud to be an American, who stands with  other Americans who believe that all men, not just Americans, are created  equal. I am proud to be that American. 

Why can we not be 'one nation under God' all of the time and not just today when  we are honoring the lives of those we lost and honoring those who answered the  call? Not just on Veteran's Day? Why? Do we truly believe the words of "The Pledge of Allegiance" or understand Dr. King's "I Have a Dream" speech? Maybe we should see this day as a reminder to remember those we lost, to thank God for those who answered the call, and as a call to action--one that we answer daily, one that reminds us that ‘all are created equal.’                                                

That's my twenty-nine cents. Blessings!

Unity in mind, body, and spirit can only exist when all three of those entities are healthy and nourished daily. When all three components of our core are balanced, we have peace in the midst of and in spite of the craziness that exists in our external worlds. Think about it, no matter how chaotic the outside world is, it will not have an adverse influence on us if we nurture and protect the unity of our core components. There's no need to allow ourselves to be tossed to and fro like a ship without a sail, if we understand the value and importance of maintaining our peace. Peace does not mean that we ignore what is going on around us. Having peace simply means that we are not allowing external factors beyond our control to negatively influence things that are within our control. Choose Peace in spite of! You deserve it!

That's my twenty-nine cents. Blessings!!

Why? Why? Why? Why do we not speak to each other? How can I walk by you, my sister, a mirror reflection of me/myself, and not speak? How can I walk by me/myself? How can I neglect me/myself? How can I not nourish, encourage, praise, celebrate, empower, educate, and enlighten me/myself? How can I do this to me/myself? How can I on this island of desolation, objectification, classism, racism, sexism, and elitism not reach out to me/myself as a reminder that I am not alone? How can I do this–and not only once, but repeatedly? How can I size me/myself up by my complexion, my hair, my clothes, my handbag, my car, my smile, my man, my accessories, or whatever outward things I observe? How can I do this? How can I do this and at no point have a conversation with me/myself to see and to learn the depths of who I am? How can I not do that? What is the point? How does it benefit me/myself? How does it propel, motivate,  encourage, inspire me/myself to do more, to be more, to keep pressing on to more if I do not talk to me/myself? How can I exist with only a monologue? I need dialogue. I need human touch. I need affirmation. I need it to know that I am not crazy, to know that I am not in this fight alone. I need it to know that I can overcome, that I can do, that I will do, and that I can achieve. I need me/myself!

–A letter to my sister/me

What is going on in the world today that we cannot take the time to speak to people? More specifically, what is going on with the majority of black women that when we see each other, we  mutually do not speak to each other, but  rather have a stare down episode? I am not talking about speaking to each other to forge a friendship, to network, to create a community, to exchange ideas, to talk about the weather, to talk about politics, to talk about health, but simply to speak. Why in the two minutes or twenty seconds of passing another fellow black woman on the street, in the grocery store, in the gym, in the beauty salon, or in the mall, do we avert our eyes, or turn our noses up in the air, or turn our heads away, or conveniently dawdle with our cell phone? How and why do we do that? What does it mean? Why do we think that it is okay? How in the world can it be healthy to see a fellow black sister, a mirror, and not speak to her and to not acknowledge who she is, if but for a brief moment? If but for a brief moment, our greeting can be an encouragement or even an escape from the nuisances and hardships of everyday life.

What is going on? What is going on that I cannot or will not speak to her? What is going on that she cannot or will not speak to me? Why have we been taught or conditioned to not acknowledge each other? Why have we been taught not to see each other? Why? Who does it hurt essentially? It hurts you! It hurts me! It hurts us. It hurts. Yes! It is okay to acknowledge hurt and pain. It does not take away from our strength, fortitude, perseverance, and tenacity as black women. Acknowledging something means we have identified that thing, and because we have then we can do something about it! When are we going to stop hurting ourselves?

By nature, women are nurturers. We carry life. Because we have been equipped to carry life, we need to yield it, speak it, and embody it! This madness has got to stop. When did this rift come in? Why are we feeding this rift that has caused and perpetuates a great divide?  We need to bridge the gap. Bridge? Forget bridge. We are not on a separate island in bondage and categorized by our gender and race. We are in this together. We simply need to walk over the man-made, woman perpetuated, bridge– the one built to keep us apart–and join hands and, thus, forces to rectify, to fix, to address the brokenness in our lives, in our communities. We need to share our experiences and insights as modes of encouragement. We cannot do this alone.

Are we really allowing negative remnants of slavery to keep us mentally bound? Why not glean from the togetherness and unity that carried us from Africa, during slavery, and into the Civil Rights Movement and use what we glean to solidify our bonds? Why allow the rights we now enjoy separate us even further? We are “free,” but we should not let that freedom draw an even deeper wedge between us. We lose the essence of our ancestors and ourselves when we allow and do this.  This rift is driving a further wedge in the human relationships that we were created to have and it pushes us deeper into ourselves, essentially killing our spiritual, emotional, and mental beings. Okay, we acknowledge the fact that as young girls, with an exception of those who played team sports and a few others, many of us were innately taught to be competitive and it could very well be this conditioning that informs our current decisions and interactions, but once we identify the source of an issue or the various sources and acknowledge the results of it, then we can intelligently or should I say sisterly move forward.

Women are made to have healthy and balanced relationships. My disposition should not be a reason for you to see me as competition and vice versa.   I am a woman. You are a woman. We both are women, who have unique and sometimes connected purposes aligned with the greater good of society and the sooner we realize this the better off all of us will be individually and collectively. We are buying into the smokescreen of seeing each other as competition, as threats and how incredibly sad is that? While we are busy giving each other the eye, our communities are falling apart, our Senate seats are being filled, our positions on boards sit empty, our presence in executive sects is absent, our representation in meaningful aspects of life is void all because we are being distracted, because we are not forging healthy relationships, because we are buying into what the media says we need, because of who the media says we are. The because list can go on and on, but it is not even worth delving into because they are all excuses—excuses that create and sustain the barriers keeping us from moving forward and together, as sisters. 

You ask me why?  Why can I not speak to you? Why can I not say hello to you? I cannot because I do not love, accept, cherish and value me/myself/you. Seeing an image/reflection of me/myself/you magnifies the pain and lack of acceptance I feel within for whatever reason. Maybe because I have bought into the hype that in spite of my blackness I am better than the average or typical black woman because of what I look like, where I live, where I was educated. Maybe because in my twenty second assessment of me/myself/you, I have imposed my tainted angle of vision that has told me/myself/you what beauty is, what intelligence looks like, and what success is.  But wait you are asking me/myself/yourself these questions, like I actually owe me/myself/you a response.

Who are you to me? And why should I speak to you? I am standing on my own two feet and encounter the same obstacles you do so what difference does it make if I speak or not? So what you are a black woman like me? I do not know me/myself/you. How can you begin to form in your mind that you know me?

–A letter to my sister answering why I cannot/do not speak to her

Denying or not acknowledging the presence of a person or a thing does not deny its existence nonetheless.

You are me. I am you.  We are each other.

That's my twenty-nine cents. Blessings!